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Poetry Archive

Written Word Magic

2020-21 Poetry

2019 Poetry

Previous Years

Im sitting in my room my thinking bout life do I deserve it am i worth it
Guess what
I’m quite as fuck secretly i just wanna give up i don’t care anymore pass me the cup
Styrofoam calling my name telling me that it can numb the pain  
These drugs keep calling my name too
Saying “Z just numb the pain life aint the same stop playing these games”

I don’t wanna feel this pain
I don’t feel the same
Life is just a fucked up game
I don’t wanna do this anymore

I don’t wanna do this anymore
I can’t do this anymore

I can’t do this anymore
My heart is broke

My life ain’t the same
Tired of playing these games with these girl
Wanted to end it all and take the world with me
I lost my soul, lost my heart
I never wanna be found just sad

dead looking like a clown to these girl when i just want one to be my world
Take a gun to my head thinking it’s gonna be over in a few don’t let me go
I wanna go back to the way i was
When i loved you
When i wanted you
But really do I deserve you

You know the funny thing about perspective is,
you get to choose what you want to see
so where you saw a dying rose, i saw sincerity
you were deoxygenated, decrepit, and lifeless
but just like a rose, you were zoetic, flourishing, and alluring
your presence fills my heart with exhilaration, only for time to tell that with neglect and sorrow, something that was so joyous had turned into something so dull
your perspective was different, you were a hurricane, when i told you id stick through the storm i knew your winds will always push to destroy anything in its path, though ill stay behind to pick up the ruins of your sorrows
I cant put you back together if pieces are still missing so ill deteriorate the rubbles of my hope to make you whole again
finding beauty in darkness only meant one thing, i would get lost in it, the darkness would devour me and consume my energy and ravage my heart to fill your void
you tried to spare me sanity but you were like a bad habit i was addicted to, you were my hero and my heroin
I found a thrill in something that was killing me and i did it purposely, you made me feel everything and i was overdosing on my emotions
I started going through withdraws, even though i knew with every dose i came closer to a unrequited love and it was tragic.
inference was knocking on my brain but denial was shouting at my heart because you held the key to my love but you were nowhere to be found
it was my perspective on you that doomed me
I saw the ocean in your tears, the pain in your rage and a home in your arms
you caused a hurricane in my heart but im still trying to plant roses in your garden
told myself never again🥀

Slut shaming me isn’t love
You told me you loved me
You told me we were meant to be
And saying you walked through it with amber rose as your queen
Don’t make you the king of me
You say you love and support me
But behind closed doors
Im a thot im a whore
You beat me and tell me your sorry
But baby
I didn’t go to the party
I was doing this for you
I was gone for a minute
He was never up in it
And how you painted your happiness with the blood from my wrist calling it art
Is the same way i would paint over my black eye and bruised neck to fake my happiness
You were my first body
Well my first unwanted forced body to be exact
So i felt like you owned me
You hitting me, using me, and verbally abusing me
Was how i learned how to love
To be harsh keep your guard up and now my hope in love is destroyed
I believed that
Our love can hold up the world
Our love can pretend to be a hand riding up my dress
Our love can pretend to be lips kissing on my neck
Whispering in my ear
You little slut get down on your knees and beg
Bend over and whine
Aren’t you used to this?
You’ve been doing this
For a lifetime

One apple could never satisfy this pit. It would be a single penny in an empty bank vault, a single fruit in an empty stomach. Yet I eat the whole thing, core and all, because a penny is better than none; and after the last bite its seeds begin to fall in my rabbit hole of a stomach. As a penny would fall from the Empire State until it meets cold cement, the seeds touch the bottom and bury themselves within the soil that greets it. I will drink water and there the seeds will grow into an immaculate tree. Its roots anchoring my gut, and branches growing whose color mimics the blood which runs through me. And with a full stomach at harvest, I have conquered this hunger that is moribund and leaving this ill body.

Strong cold wind
Slapping my skin
Turning my cheeks to a blushy strawberry color
I stare off at the statue
No one besides me
No one besides her
Just the grey smoky clouds above
Darkening as we get closer to land
I am sure
And that one area where the sun is
Shining through

I let the breeze devour my eyes
So my eyes waters
And I cry
I tell myself it’s not my fault
It’s just the wind
glad that’s the that reason
And what everyone sees
But it’s not the truth
I blink and
one tear runs down

Looking around
Standing on this boat
With strangers and their own lovers
Their own stories
Alone on the edge
Looking down into the water as I drift
Slowly Away
Wondering if tears of other hopeless wanderers flow underneath
Tears of emotions
Tears of loneliness

oh the clouds were grey but
light shines
beyond what i thought
what i thought was a smile
you gave me while talking about the destruction
your heart
give me the problems that they hid from with their umbrella
because they usually come in black but mine came in yello
who hides from the rain when you’re out and we look like
our ends will never meet but if not we wouldnt be complete
without eachother
the future wouldn’t sun without you
because our shines will look up to you
and you’ll look back at me
with a jar of drops that got us where we are
with out your grey skies i wouldn’t have a perfect storm
for your rain drops that stick to my skin glisten when you
are yello and bright so excruciatingly hot
i cant look too long
my heart scorches if you get too close
but sunshine for you id burn in hell if it meant id feel you against my skin
just as hot sweaty and sticky
you have waterfalls that are too deep for people to swim
but if id choose my death it would be to drown in your waters

Do you know what you are doing?
Sitting here, hearing me?
Waiting for me to finish talking, so you can go home, and go to sleep
Just to wake up, take that shower, brush your teeth, leave your house
To go to work

To go to school

Do you know what you are doing?
Sitting here, hearing me?
Do you want me to finish talking?
Do you want to go home so you can get that rest?
Do you want to wake up tomorrow and take that shower, brush your teeth and leave your house?
To go to work
To go to school


Do you want to live like this?

Because they say you were free to choose

Were you?

Building is Construction

But building isn’t just about what you see
But what you feel between someone or something

Building is Foundations

Don’t give me the wheel
I will crash it

I while end up with tubes stuck in my body
In the hospital fighting for a life I never wanted to live in the first place
I will end up in a bed surrounded by my loved ones, them crying for me to wake up, and I can hear them, perfectly clear, but for once I can ignore without getting yelled at

Give me the wheel
Won’t crash it

Because it’s been weeks since I relapsed and I was finally feeling proud because it’s been more than 24 hours since I’ve been suicidal which led to withdrawal, I was so used to feeling numb and high off of…nothing but thoughts that when I started to feel, like really feel, I felt weird but happy

Someone take the wheel
And drive me to happiness

I guess I always needed someone to make me feel beautiful and happy
I guess I always let someone else
Steer my life in whatever direction they felt was the fastest to my destination, death

Don’t give me the wheel
I will…

Give me the wheel
I won’t…

Someone, anyone, take the wheel

Give me the wheel
So I can crash it but don’t be mad
You knew from the start this was going to happen

Drug abuse is a medical problem, not a crime against
American anti-drug policy is a means of social control
rooted in racial prejudice.
Bringing those of color within its stronghold

Incarceration has become a self-sustaining force
predicated on economics of course

Will Justice ever prevail?
Why demonize addictions
Throwing addicts or users in jail

This economy thrives off drug money
You got judges getting high
cops sniffing coke.
But get caught with a little weed
Minimum sentence are no joke

When people are distressed
They want to sooth that pain
poor and suffering peoples addiction
fed through a machine like meat to make sausage
it’s just bang, bang, bang,
What is the answer
How can this end
When can we began to help these people
Instead of minimum sentencing them?

Don’t let society mess up the way you view yourself
Your sexuality doesn’t define who you are
The way you dress doesn’t define who you are
The way you talk doesn’t define who you are
It shouldn’t define you as a person
Don’t ever let anybody make you feel less of a person because you are different
Or you don’t like what society wants you to like
God made you the amazing person you are for a reason.
You are beautiful
You are unique
You are a star
You can be everything you dream of.
Don’t let society mess up the way you view yourself

2018 What A Year We Had
So Many Successful Achievements As Well As Tragedies
Lost A Couple Angels And A lot Of The Youth Started Gang Banging
Relationships Were Built While Friends And Loyalty Began To Tilt
All The Violence And Murders Never Seem To End
But Since Its About To Be A New Year Everyone Gets To Pretend
Put It All In The Past New Time To Shine Bring Out The New Cast
But Let’s Not Forget About All those whose in violence have passed
R.I.P Vhlana Roberts
R.I.P Junior Guzman
R.I.P Aretha Franklin
R.I.P Prince
R.I.P Muhammad Ali
I Know These Families Were Hurting And Couldn’t Sleep In Peace
I Wake Up Every Morning And I Thank God To Make It Another 24
Today Is January 1 2019 Lets Hope This Year Is Better Than …..

Yeah you know the vibes
Tryna live my life
Committed felonies
Just to get right
In the hood
Life ain’t good
But how can i be shook
When i’m surrounded by these crooks
Best advice that i can give you is
Put your head up in them books
In the city where it get litty
A couple soldiers moving milly
Perks for the itch
Patron for the dome
Through the hate and love
I feel all alone
But i remain strong
Fuck the past, the present now the future later
So ima keep counting this paper
Local hood alligator
Don’t worry about the past baby
We all been through the pain
So for now let’s live our life and make it rain

How many bodies have I seen lying dead; with heads tossed, limbs severed, or wounds gaping? Their blood darkening as it gathers on my sword and in my hands. These hands which collect dirt under its nails, waiting for the next time the blood takes its place. I am always waiting for the next victim, not of my hands or my sword but waiting for the next victim of death. For I am only her assistant, her messenger, her daughter. Watch how easily she commands me, her errands my only hobby, so I am left picking dirt from under my nails until my next task.