How does it feel?

So how does it feel? Well, You spend years getting to know this one person-years of falling in love, years of getting heartbroken by the same person-years of dealing with that one person only because in your heart and mind that was the only person you wanted to last forever with. But dealing with the same thing gets tiring it drains you so much that you end up leaving them regardless of how painful and difficult it is, You leave because it’s the best way of allowing yourself to live without stress or anything disturbing your peace of mind. As the days go by you learn to live without her at this point you have grieved so much that you have become numb to the pain and the way that her lips once felt is suddenly a faded feeling as well as the perfume she always wore to see you. As days turn into months you don’t think about her as often as you used to until little things like the portraits she once gave you as a kind gesture stand tall hanging on the living room wall remind you of her or when you walk by the spot where you guys had your first kiss reliving the memory that was once so vivid and exciting is now the one that makes you want to avoid going in that direction because it reminds you of her. You start feeling a lot better when you meet this kind young lady who from the beginning is so attentive but is one of those relationships that makes you say “it’s too good to be true” and in the end, it was “too good to be true” the more you guys stay up late talking about what makes you the more your heart starts to feel at ease but the fear of getting heartbroken again never leaves your head. You work through it because the way she smiles and the way she looks at you makes you want to do better for the sake of a future relationship with her. She makes you happy, she makes you feel like there is no one else in the world except you two, she makes you become a better person. A day where you guys are casually hanging out she tells you “ you’re going to fall in love with me” you get scared because for the past year you have built a wall to not let anyone in but somehow this girl who came a Sunday afternoon into your life tells you these words you had been running away from but this time it makes you want to stay and wait to see if you’re going to fall in love with her. As a month goes by the world is impacted by a global pandemic no going out and social distancing becomes the new normal in everyone’s life but throughout that time of not going out, you find yourself falling for this girl your time and energy is consumed by her and no one else. She becomes your daily routine. Hours of phone calls and months of not seeing each other makes you both confess your feelings for one another finally saying the 3 words that make you so vulnerable to want to run away “ I Love You”.